Hoot by Carl Hiaasen

Book:  Hoot 


Author:  Carl Hiaasen 


Grade:  A


Recommended to: adults, kids, environmentalists, people who like to laugh. 


This is probably the 10th Carl Hiaasen book that I've read.  It is a young adult/chapter book and it is a Newberry Honor Book, which brought back memories of reading chapter books in elementary school.  Apparently it was also made into a movie in 2006.

This book is about a new-in-town middle schooler who sees a barefoot boy, name: Mullet Fingers,  running away from the bus stop.  He follows the boy and a whole bunch of hilarity ensues when Roy, the new kid, finds out that the new Mother Paula's pancake restaurant is going to be built on a site with endangered burrowing owls.

I really enjoyed this book - to the point of laughing out loud on the Metra.  The main character Roy is extremely well written and very thoughtful and sensitive for a middle schooler.  The other main characters are a little one dimensional, but the book has an overall theme of environmentalism that is beautiful and refreshing.  It is also chock full of humor - if you've read other Hiaasen novels, you know that he often introduces a lot of characters and then puts them in completely ridiculous situations.  This book is written the same way and it is very well done.

Mullet Fingers is a younger Skink (the ex-Florida governor who wears a shower cap and lives in the wilderness) who fights against environmental abuses with outrageous acts of civil disobedience.  For example, he releases cotton mouth moccasins onto the Mother Paula's property, but not before gluing sequins all over their tails.   It is this attention to detail that drives Hiaasen's work above and beyond other works of comedic fiction.

I recommend this book to kids and adults alike.  It has a fabulous message and it is great for two days of laughs.

Happy Readings!

Even Silence Has An End by Ingrid Bentancourt

Book:  Even Silence Has An End/An aside on libraries.


Author:  Ingrid Bentancourt 


Grade:  B- 


Recommended To:  People who want to learn how not to escape guerrilla captivity. 


Even Silence Has An End is the story of Ingrid Bentancourt, the presidential candidate in Columbia who was captured and held hostage for 6 years in the jungle.  I first saw her interview with Oprah about the book and it has been on my to-read list ever since. I finally picked it up at the library this month.


An aside on libraries -  I'm a Kindle fanatic (I buy the daily deal almost every day), or I buy my books used at the Brown Elephant Resale Shop.  But, these places called libraries just give you books for free and all you need is a handy card that says you are allowed to check out books there.  Who knew!?  

I'm kidding, of course.  I got a library card at the age of five and would intentionally pick out the longest books I could find in hopes of them lasting longer than two days.  I blazed through the entire babysitter's club series, Anne of Green Gables, and Little House on the Prairie and then I read them again - over and over.

But, I've recently re-discovered the library and I've fallen in love again.  The only sort of stressful thing is that it really bumps around the books in your to-read queue.  These books have a due date so I couldn't just add them to my pile and pick them up again on a boring day.  I had to relive my days as a kid and read these books fast!   It has been great fun - I'd forgotten how lovely it is to hold a plastic bound book, turning real pages and seeing other people's fingerprints.  It really makes you think about where a book has been and where it will end up.

Phew. Silence was a solid read.  I took a class on the Columbian paramilitary, guerrilla and military forces in college and this book is probably now on that professor's reading list.  Bentancourt describes her time chained to a tree, her long marches through the jungle and her attempts at escape.  This woman sucks at escaping.  She writes very long passages about the preparation she put into the escape plans and she ultimately fails five times.  It is painful to see her go through these preparations over and over, only to know what is going to happen.

The most interesting parts are the bits about her relationships with her "companions." Many of them distrust her, but she does have a few close friends in captivity.  After finishing this book, I looked up some of the controversy surrounding Bentancourt's version of the events.  Many of the other captives have strong words of criticism for Bentancourt including her vice presidential running mate who was also captured with her.

Overall, this is a well written book with some very interesting passages and thoughts on the human experience in captivity.  I would recommend this as an honest, upfront nonfiction read.

Happy Reading!

Bring up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel

Book:  Bring up the Bodies 


Author:  Hilary Mantel 


Grade B 


Recommended To: People who just wished and wished Hilary would fix the second-person speech in her follow up. 


Bring up the Bodies is the second book in a trilogy written by Hilary Mantel.  Her first book Wolf Hall followed Thomas Cromwell on his rise to power as an adviser to King Henry VIII and his tireless efforts to put Anne Boleyn on the throne of England.

Book two is a bit different.  Cromwell must reverse his efforts and remove Anne from the throne in order to keep his ever demanding boss, the king, from blowing a royal gasket.

I really enjoyed this book from Cromwell's perspective.  One of my biggest complaints about Wolf Hall was that Mantel writes in second person.   Everything is: He this and He that.  She still writes in second person in Bring up the Bodies, but at least this time, she makes it more clear who she is talking about.  Now, the sentences read something like:  He, Cromwell, went to the market.    This got very repetitive, but at least the reader is aware that the person she's talking about is the main character and not some other male character in the book.

There are many books about Tudor England and the rise and fall of Anne Boleyn, but of all the historical fiction I've read from this time period, Wolf Hall and Bring up the Bodies are two of the most accurate and most compelling.  Mantel creates an urgency around the conviction and trial of Anne Boleyn that I haven't found in other books.  Her viewpoint on the speed of Anne's downfall is very interesting and I've never seen a Tudor author break down the investigation in the way that Mantel does.  Mantel describes King Henry's orders to Cromwell, the investigation into Anne's behavior, and her imprisonment and trial in a span of around 6 days. It is wildly fascinating to read about how Cromwell interrogated a mere singer in Queen Anne's retinue and from there indicted several of the King's closest friends and the Queen, particularly in such a short period of time.

I do recommend reading some lighter historical fiction (even wikipedia) about the time period before delving into these two books.  The writing is sometimes very tough and it helps to have a perspective on the way the history turns out before reading the books.  Not that we don't all know what happens to Anne Boleyn, but there is a host of other characters, who are just as important, and some quick background on those individuals is hugely helpful when reading this book.

I give this book a very solid B and I recommend it as an improvement on Wolf Hall.  I am very excited for the third book in the series, which I can only imagine takes Cromwell to new highs and lows.

Happy Reading!!

Fully Loaded Thrillers by Blake Crouch

Book:  Fully Loaded Thrillers. 


Author:  Blake Crouch 


Grade:  B


Recommended To:  Short story fans and horror/mystery fans. 


This was a collection of ten deliciously creepy short stories.  Some were so short that they were about a page long and the description before the book was at least triple the story itself.

I had never read anything by Blake Crouch before I picked up this book as an Amazon Daily Deal.  Crouch is a good author. He creates suspense with scenes and descriptions, which in this reviewer's opinion is the proper way to write good books.  Let me warn you, some of these stories were so creepy that I found myself thinking about them for days afterward.

For example, in one story a husband and wife get a pocket dial telephone call where they hear someone killing another person.   The story twists and turns and ends up with a very shocking ending.  It was deliciously and kept me on the edge of my seat.

Without giving too much away, there's also a very compelling story about a serial killer hitchhiker and serial killer ride-giver who meet.  The result is horrifying and definitely keeps you guessing.

I liked this book.  I liked being a little creeped out by the stories and the characters.  I also liked that these stories were so short, I could nearly get through one on my train ride to the city.

I definitely recommend this book to people looking for something well written and off the beaten path.

Happy Reading!

Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James

Book:  Fifty Shades of Grey 

Author:  EL James 

Grade:  D+ 

Recommended To:  People with red editing pens 

This book should be called "Fifty Shades of Red Editing Ink" or "Fifty Shades of Bad Grammar"  or "Fifty Shades of Abuse."   You choose.

I occasionally read books that get a lot of hype.  Part of me knew that this was going to be bad, especially when I heard there were hints of Twilight.  (Not sure how the vamp books relate, because there aren't any sparklers in this book, but I didn't read Twi, so who knows.) 

There are just so many issues in this book.  First, these two people meet and they are instantly attracted to each other.  He is described as basically the hottest man in the world, without much description at all.  The author says his "pants hang off his hips."   Which is...attractive? What does that even mean? Are they sweatpants?  Are they so loose that they actually HANG?  What terrible and unattractive imagery that sentence invokes.  The female lead is an innocent virgin who is in college in 2011, doesn't own a cell phone or a computer and apparently doesn't have an email address.  But!  She has an ipod.  Pretty sure her ipod has no music at all, since you need an itunes account and oh, a computer.  She's also 22 and has never been drunk.  These types of inconsistencies are irritating, to say the least. 

Either way, these two people are instantly attracted to each other.  You can't see me, but I'm rolling my eyes. Then, shit starts to get real.  Christian Grey, the man with the hanging pants, reveals that he's got this secret room with whips and chains.  Weird.  But, at least the story isn't so lame.  Until this idiot author ruins that too.  I highly doubt the obviously-pen-named-author has ever been in a BDSM relationship and  the book honestly feels like she googled some stuff, picked the most shocking things and then plopped them into the book.  This reviewer is not amused.

The author tries so hard to make these characters deep that eventually it just gets sad.  Ana is in such turmoil about being in a relationship with a man who actually wants to inflict physical punishment on her when she does follow his arbitrary rules.  Christian apparently has issues with food since he had a "crack whore" mother. These themes are not developed, they are only repeated over and over again.  It is exhausting.

Christian's character is also disgusting.  He's controlling, abusive and in general an unattractive asshole.  Ana is equally disgusting because she falls in love with him after five minutes and then puts up with literal physical beatings because he's the only person she's ever slept with. I simply cannot relate to these characters at all.  I do not know anyone that acts this way.   I'm dismayed that a book that is this poorly written and this poorly researched actually has such a following.  

If this is what Twilight is like then I'm so freakin' happy that I didn't read it. 

This is a lesson learned in following my book-instinct.  Popular opinion was seriously confused and wrong about this book.  The over the top sex scenes do not make this a literary miracle.  Save your money and save your time and do not read this trash.

Happy Reading, people.